


Lust Games

by ZzZzZzZZuzuZzZzZzZzZ



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Dark! Fuffy, Dubious Consent, F/F, Obsession, Psycho! Faith, Roughness, Season 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:51:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZzZzZzZZuzuZzZzZzZzZ/pseuds/ZzZzZzZZuzuZzZzZzZzZ
Summary: Faith likes to play games. Only games could make sex better. Only another slayer could make it even hotter. And only danger could make it completely delirious.Season 3. / Uploaded from Fanfiction.net (11/april/2016)*pls don't read if it triggers you. be careful.





	1. Want.

Long walks around the city with Buffy defined Faith's evenings lately. All the 'fun' they had with vampires, wherever they'd find them: at the cemetery or anywhere else, since, somehow, Faith managed to convince Buffy not to settle with waiting, but taking matters at their own hands and go looking for hideouts, killing dozens of them at a time.

Faith felt the rush in her bones and the thought of some of her excitement rubbing off Buffy, making the blonde slayer a little bit like her, under  _her_  influence,  _her_  spell… just a little bit  _hers_. It made Faith underground-ly feel like she could steal B away from Angel. And though Faith didn't own anything, never had, never felt like she would, she did enjoy  _owning_   _people_  for the short period of time her charms worked its magic on them. No surprise she got frustrated when it didn't work on Buffy.

But she was sure it worked on some level, having slayer-fun time together, the calling her 'girlfriend' and it being ok, breaking the rules, the feeling that Faith could almost see in the air… there was definitely something between them. Buffy had just been too blind by _Angel_ to see it -the brunette slayer dripped with jealousy- but that must've been a slayer thing, if she felt it – hungry and horny – she bet Buffy did too, it should be driving Buffy insane! Or maybe it was driving  _Faith_  insane: she did have the tendency to project her feelings on others. But it didn't explain why Faith would flirt with Buffy all the time and she'd be all giggly and into it, right?

Whatever it was, joke's on it. Faith couldn't deny a challenge, even if it spelled i.m.p.o.s.s.i.b.l.e., in fact, it only made things more interesting. Thinking about the difficulty of it, Buffy seemed even hotter. Faith smiled to herself, first coming back to where she actually was in the time-space.

She was walking after patrolling, escorting Buffy back to her house to only then head back to her own hotel bedroom. Everything was silent; it was her fault, she was the talkative one and she'd been quiet all the way, thoughts pushing her away. She reserved herself to watch Buffy walk alongside a little more, wondering how she could prolong the night, thinking of an excuse to invite herself in.

"Do you have something for my arm?" Faith drew attention to herself, Buffy's eyes laid on her face and triggered Faith to look away "I think I hurt it when we were kicking those bastards' asses" she wasn't satisfied with her excuse, she maybe needed to build more… maybe? But "I ran out of it" was all she had, Buffy gave her a small smile.

"Sure, I'll fix that in a sec" Faith's expression was impossible to decipher, which made Buffy quite uncomfortable "though I don't think we'll have permanent damage" Faith was tensed up now, Buffy felt the need to explain better "You know, being a slayer and shit" she stuttered to get it out, but Faith let out a sound laughter.

" 'And shit', miss goody good?" mocking Buffy was clearly more down Faith's alley than any small talk she pretended to be interested in.

"I can swear. You know, before you came along I was the badass of the gang. You just gave 'badass' a deeper meaning when you came" Buffy straightened her back to say: "I burnt down my last school and you just need to ask the principal, he'll tell you how goody good I am" Faith let out an even harder laugh.

"I'm sure you're the baddest bitch in town, B"

"God, you're annoying, Faith" mission accomplished: Buffy annoyed and safely delivered. They got up the small stairs in front of Buffy's house. Faith hesitated to enter "don't make noise, mom's probably sleeping already. I'll find the aid kit, ok?" Faith just nod, thinking how could she take advantage of the situation now that Buffy disappeared to somewhere else.

When Buffy came back, Faith had a sandwich in her hand and another on a plate and decided to comment "see you're already taking care of the whole hunger after slaying…"

"And don't you forget the horny" Faith completed joking, waving the sandwich in front of Buffy. She couldn't let the opportunity pass by to tickle the balance of things and put the blonde on a spot. But Buffy just smiled.

"I got the kit" Buffy announced. "And I gotcha snack" Faith signed to the plate "don't we make the perfect duo?" Faith completed, Buffy only rolled her eyes "give me your hand" she demanded. Faith took off her jacket to show her slightly red arms "that's it? This is nothing, you'll be completely fine in a couple of hours"

"Just put the damn thing, I didn't come in only for the snacks" Faith retorted in a way it could be interpreted as if it was both truth or sarcastic. Buffy didn't appreciated it, but pulled out a cream based medicine and put it on Faith's arm, not realizing she didn't have to, Faith could easily apply it herself – but, of course, Faith wasn't the one to tell her that.

Silence fell again between the both, it wasn't weird since nothing else bothered to make a sound anywhere nearby. Silence almost felt natural to the moment: Buffy was focused on Faith's bruises and Faith was concentrated on Buffy's… lips, eyes, hair. She wanted to play with them, she wanted to make them hers. But she knew Buffy wasn't under her spell yet, so she played along with the whole silence thing until she couldn't anymore.

Buffy's touch on her arms sent wrong signals to her brain, which she already wasn't much in control of. Faith's arms were quick to snap the cream out of Buffy's hand and corner her against the wall "you make a nice little nurse, B" she provoked, body dangerously close to Buffy's.

"What the hell are you doing now, Faith?" was Buffy's reaction to it, but Faith just laughed. Buffy didn't like being cornered, the body language was clear, she felt attacked and uneasy. Faith was too much in her personal space and whatever  _game_  she was playing, Buffy wanted no part of it: she just snapped back, throwing Faith one or two steps back, which were rapidly regained, now Faith just inches from Buffy's face, with that proud smile, which only made Buffy think she definitely had issues.

"What's so funny? Have you finally lost it?" Buffy spit, anger rising up from how uncomfortable the situation made her feel. Faith grabbed Buffy's face roughly and gently kissed her right cheek, laughing easier to break the tension she built "you're a great soul, B, thanks for the snack and the healing" Buffy let out an annoyed sigh, relieved, as Faith doubled and tripled the distance between them, getting back to her sandwich "can I spend the night? It's pretty late for me to get back… you know" she threw it casually, aware of the uneasy panting blonde she left behind her.

"As long as you don't try to murder me in my sleep…" Buffy joked, secretly not joking at all. She couldn't draw a line around Faith's sanity and how much things were jokes for her.

Faith knew the more she would tickle the tiger, the nearer she would get her to a breaking point and then, the less boring things around Sunnydale would be. But right now wasn't the time, right now she was happy with the little flirts and sassy thrusts she'd throw around.


	2. Take.

What a happy, happy day! Faith could have heard the birds singing in the morning. Not even the bright sun waking her up put the girl in a bad mood; she dared to say she even enjoyed how it did. Everything felt right, in place.

Faith had laid all the groundwork: she gradually trained Buffy to feel intimidated by her advances. She knew Buffy felt funny every time she would invade a little of her personal space. But even though Faith had been insistently teasing Buffy, the blonde slayer managed to avoid all the flirting majestically, making it all fall into a rivalry, maybe friendly, gray area. Buffy grew to think this was merely the way Faith was, waving her confidence all over the place.

Plus, with the whole mayor thing, Buffy had no time to think about the break up with her candy vampy – not that Faith had anything to do with that (it wasn't bad advice, it was something  _someone_ had to say, right? about how he was holding Buffy back and she needed him to let her go). The slayer started to spend more and more time working with Faith, who had nothing to complain about and, slowly, the golden girl fell into the spider's web.

"You're all tensed up today" Faith said. She knew why Buffy was tense, she  _meant_  to address the blonde's pain, to see her reaction, but she just shook shoulders "I have an idea of what would make you feel a lot better" Faith's hands surprised Buffy from behind when she slipped them under the blonde slayer's arms and tickled Buffy's torso up and down, in a provocative way, laughing easily "you need to put focus on something else" she twirled around as Buffy walked, full of excitement "Let's make a bet" Faith bit in the air, as a roar.

"With you? No, thanks" Buffy answered with a half-smile.

"It'll be fun!" Faith reached for Buffy's hand to make contact.

"Which means it'll be either dangerous or promiscuous. No."

"Oh, I'll let you choose whatever you want for a prize".

"You don't have anything I want" Buffy replied as a challenge, raising an eyebrow.

"You're a Slayer" Faith kept up "You would just do for the fun of it" she could see she already had Buffy on boat "but  _I_  want a prize" the sentence left Buffy intrigued.

"Want do you want?" that was it, Faith's smiled brightened, wider than ever, which made Buffy think of the million perverse possibilities the troublemaker girl was thinking of.

"I want you to play a game with me".

"Isn't it what we're already gonna do? Or is it another double meaning term you're throwing around again? You really should stop sending me all those doubled signals".

"You've got them" Faith's sentence had a pinch of surprise, the girl was a master of avoiding those, so Faith thought she had suppressed them down low.

"Yes, all this flirting makes me concerned. You're up to something I'm not gonna like and you're trying to make it up by being extra nice to me meanwhile" Buffy stated.

"I wouldn't bet on that" Faith almost whispered. Flirting  _was_   _part_  of the something she was up to. Faith reached for eye contact, Buffy did not deny her that, big green eyes daring. "You on me, c'mon, I want to know if you can handle me"

"I'm not sure I understood it right" Faith couldn't choose more sexualized words if she  _was_  to pick them carefully. But Buffy needed to know for sure that she did not mean what she heard, with Faith she never knew the meanings of things.

"Slayer versus slayer, B. Do you think you can take me out?" Faith was pleased by how Buffy jumped to interpret what she said as a sex thing.

"You want to fight me?" Buffy laughed " _you_  c'mon, Faith, I'm obviously stronger than you. I was a slayer way before you…" Faith threw a punch at her, to which Buffy dodged by impulse, letting an "Oh" drop out of her mouth.

"You really wanna do this" Buffy said, hands on closed fists, protecting her body as she watched Faith's movements right and left. Faith threw another punch, Buffy had it covered with her left arm, she took advantage of the brunette's vulnerability to attack her with her right arm, but it landed harmless on Faith's left arm.

The next punch hit Buffy's face hard, as she didn't have time to cover. She had to take 3 steps back as Faith kept going on, Buffy finally managed to push the other slayer back to recover, her face hurt, Faith was going to pay for that.

Again, Faith's fist attacked Buffy, who lowered to avoid it and hit the brunette on her torso, making her take a step back, out of breath, just to take another punch to the face. She should be in pain, angry or whatever, but she burst into a laughter: she was enjoying it, the rush, the pain… were aphrodisiacs for her, she wanted more "Come at me, B, why don't you teach me how better of a slayer you are?"

"You're insane" Buffy stated "I'm no better of a slayer than you…"

"Oh,  _ **come on**_ , B!" it struck a nerve "you're better than me. I know it, you know it" Buffy hit her again, but Faith got a knock on Buffy's stomach. She used her legs to make the blonde trip on it and lose balance, Faith could advance and put the slayer between the grave and the foe. Not the best position.

Faith closed the distance between them slowly, as if all the time in world was hers to spend, smile always on her face "but if something is true, I'm better at reading you than you are reading me" Faith's hand rested on the stone behind Buffy, who was breathing hard, carefully studying Faith, close enough to feel the warm breath she let out.

"Faith, I'm not…"

"…"

Faith closed the distance with her lips, kissing the object of her obsession for the first time. She wanted to take it all in, her left hand held Buffy's head in place as the right one pushed the other slayer even closer to her body, fitting her perfectly to the shape. She tasted blood, but it was okay by her, the iron taste was kind of sweet in this context; did vampires feel this way? She sucked on her tongue and bit lightly the blonde's bottom lip. Faith felt like she could die in this heaven, the waiting did make it better. Her hand slipped to Buffy's ass, squeezing it a bit and she felt the push separate her from her candy.

"Get off of me" Buffy screamed "what do you think you're doing?" the ecstasy running through both slayers' veins.

"Oh, you feel it too" Faith walked towards Buffy again, grabbing Buffy's chin roughly "inside you're screaming for me to take you, to make you howl" Faith winked sexily, Buffy snapped Faith's hand out of her face.

"I'm straight, Faith" Buffy shook her head "I didn't even know you were into that" the thoughts bombed the blonde's head "if I knew, all those things you said…"

"What about we fuck, but no homo shit?" Faith said sarcastically, to what Buffy rolled her eyes "stop thinking, goddamn! Just do it"

"If I were to do not think I would punch you in the face for this" Buffy said right back.

Faith's eyes brighten "Do it"

Buffy couldn't believe Faith. "I'm not gonna punch you in the face!"

"Too bad" Faith retorted as she closed in for another kiss.

Hands on Buffy's zipper, a blast to the face. The refreshed rush through her veins, an uneasy slayer just in front. A hit on her lover's left arm, another blow she could dodge. A poetry made of unspoken words turned into strikes, they danced in an organized pace on their made up waltz, to a rhythm made of an unspoken conversation they understood way too much.

'I hate that Angel abandoned me' 'everyone expects me to do everything right ' 'tell them all to go to hell' 'I have to take everything on my shoulders' 'you don't'

Buffy fell on Faith's arms, eyes watering, but she was still strong enough to hold them back in.

"You have no idea, you don't have to take blame if you slip a little bit" Buffy let out "so don't come here to play with me just for the kicks of it"

"Poor Buffy, all your friends want to help you. You got a watcher who looks out for you, a mom who thinks about your future… they all want you to be ok, it must be  _so_  hard!" sarcasm as sharp as ever "what about me, uh? What do I get? Nothing! No one gives a shit about me. Just stop being such a whiny bitch and let me have the only thing that is mine:  _this_ " Faith gestured between her and Buffy, the other slayer knew exactly what she meant, she did feel the connection.

Never, in history, there had been 2 slayers at the same time. What were the rules? Were they suppose to be so strongly connected? Was she suppose to feel like that? She and Kendra weren't wired the same as it was with Faith. It was a primal instinct deep in her she had to fight against.

Faith pushed Buffy's pants down and the blonde just breathed deeper, revising all the events that led up to this, not moving one muscle away. Faith roughly licked Buffy's lips to, then, get down on her neck. She breathed the scent in, she felt like conquering it, after being kept so far away from it for too long. The kisses slowly becoming small hickeys as her hands explored the curve of her body, all the way up to her breasts, down her hips. She felt the goose bumps on Buffy spreading as she reached for under the panties and a small reaction of hesitation manifested, but Faith locked their lips together in an aggressive kiss. Her fingers massaged Buffy's clitoris then slipped down, back and forth.

"I want you" Faith sighed, breathing heavily and talking as honest as she never been before "I want more than just your body. I want all of you, I want everything you are" she creepily whispered on Buffy's ear.

Buffy took Faith's both arms and rolled over, landing on top, finally acting on it. She smashed her fist into the ground just next to Faith's head "is this what you want?" something about Buffy's attitude made everything better in Faith's point of view, she smiled wider, having the blonde participate agressively was more exciting. Buffy took the rogue slayer's mouth harshly, pushing into a kiss of dominance, despair and lust at its core. They rolled on the ground, almost really fighting, sloppily taking each other's clothes one by one. The rough grips, the small bites, the scratches across their legs…

"Fuck you, Faith…"

"That's the spirit, B"

Faith knew this was Buffy's way of rebelling against everything that was wrong with her life lately, Buffy's way of saying 'that's enough, fuck it'. But she really didn't care, as long as the girl played her way: Want, take, have. She didn't mind the bruises that were certainly going to appear later on. The golden girl was on top of her, she was kissing her back. And, Faith admitted, it was better than any drunken, rough sex she's had before.

Buffy, on the other hand, didn't quite know why she was doing that, why all of that took the load off her shoulders, the only thing she needed to know for sure is that it worked, if she was to poke the whys she might just blow it. So she choose not to. There was only that place, that time and her stumbled feelings.

Faith turned them over again, landing on top. " _I'm_  in control right now" her nails made a trace of pain on Buffy's arm while she wiggled on top of the blonde, sliding down until her face was on top of her vagina, she kissed it to tease, Buffy turned her head up, arching her body. Faith's hands met Buffy's ass cheeks and angled her body up to kiss the girl's core this time. She couldn't help but laugh when heard Buffy's moaning escaping her mouth.

Faith was high on the power she had to make Buffy twist with pleasure, each touch, each kiss, sent an electric shock through the other's body, she could see from the top, how the body ached for her contact. Faith slid a finger inside and climbed to meet the blonde's lips again, sucking on them provocatively "Did Angel make you feel like this?" she whispered "Did he give you the world? Made your head spin out of control?"

Buffy couldn't answer that, her head wasn't responding to any information. God, she hated to be there, to have given into it. How did Faith manage to get her into it? She'd never know what made her fall for this. Maybe Faith was right, maybe she couldn't resist a good challenge, a good fight, maybe she had what Xander insisted: a thing for the dark side, a thing for self-destruction, bad guys, doing things which only complicated her life. But this complicated her lifeah-so-well-fuckin-good, there was no turning back.

Buffy felt her whole body tremble, uncontrollable, their paces were synchronized and she climaxed. She relaxed, reaching for air when she first realized she was completely out of breath, hands all over Faith's body too. Her expression deepened, caressing Faith's hair, she totally lost sense of where, to look out the painted-full-of-stars sky. What the hell has she done?

"You're mine now, B, totally mine" Faith whispered, hostile and possessive undertones.


	3. Have.

Her mind screamed at her. "What the hell are you doing?! Faith? Of all people? Are you kidding me?! Are you kidding  _yourself_?" yet, her body refused to come back with a straight answer. It just demanded more and more. If she could forget all the 'buts' and shut up the pointless discussion in her head… because in the end, she would just fall in the same place she was over and over again, one way or another...

The whip made the air next to her ear break in a high-pitched sound, Buffy refocused on Faith's direction, she'd been finally back. Why did she shine that smile at her all the goddamn time, though? It teased Buffy and it almost never meant a good thing.

The black underwear Faith displayed in front of the blonde, mixed with her purple lipstick and dark hair oddly made sense with the bright pink bra and cheerful character standing in front of her. Two ends met by a chance of fate and, yes, in a big picture it did make sense, like yin yang did. Or maybe it was all Buffy's head trying to match brain and body.

"Whips?" Buffy's voice weakly came out of her mouth, it felt foreign to have to talk when she'd been thinking so long.

"I like them" she simply replied, whipping it once more, dangerously close to Buffy's torso "they can't really hurt you. I'd need something way meaner to harm you" she flashed that smile again, probably thinking about it, teasing the other slayer, rubbing the whip on her stomach. Her hands found Buffy's hips and grabbed them as she climbed over her bed and over the blonde's body, sitting on top of her.

They were in her hotel room. It wasn't the first time -nor the second- and the daylight brighten it. Buffy should be at school, but somehow Faith convinced her she should be somewhere else.

Faith knew it wouldn't last, whatever happened to Buffy's sanity surely would pass and she'd say goodbye. And probably pretend it never happened at all. She  _expected_  that to happen, but instead of dealing with it, she just pushed the thought out of her mind and looked down to it. She looked back at her. Holy crap, Faith went down the rabbit hole.

Buffy's hands rested on her breasts "what are we doing, Faith?" she was dead serious.

Faith lowered to Buffy's ear, stopping at the middle of the way to kiss her neck, she licked it provocatively "we're having fun" she whispered.

That wasn't enough, the blonde sat up "we can't just 'have fun', Faith" the brunette let out a loud sigh, annoyed, as she fell to the side. Buffy felt the need to explain better " _God_ , we work together, we have a duty, a hell of responsibility and people who lean on us…"

"You know you haven't made much sense with all this blab, right? What does any of it have to do with this?"

"You know we're not casual" was what Buffy replied "we'll burn each other out –  _eventually_. If this goes on…" the sentence died. "I need you to answer me. What are we doing? If 'having fun' is all you got, I-I'm sorry, but I can't."

"I don't understand it, B" this time Faith was the one to sit up and reach for the other's eyes "what do you want me to say? Do you want this to be a thing? I thought it was you who didn't want anything to do with me. I thought  _you_  were the one to be cool with hiding this"

"We're toxic, Faith" she fell silent for a minute "if this was anything near healthy, we wouldn't need whips and games and this sadistic setup" her voice was apologetic, she felt like she had done something bad she would be judged for.

"You say you don't like all this 'sadistic' stuff…" Faith mocked "or that you're not allowing yourself to like it?" the rogue slayer crawled in front of Buffy, enchanting the blonde with her eyes and the movement of her body, the spell engaged an effect the other couldn't deny "don't blame the games we're playing for your deep self-doubt. Come up with a real excuse next time" Faith aggressively threw her back on the mattress, grabbing the whip once again and striking it to Buffy's right leg.

"All I'm saying is that this is not healthy. Us."

"Tell me something, B, does this…" Faith kissed her passionately "…feels bad? Toxic? Make you want to stop what we're doing? 'Cause if you want, you can get up and walk away from me any time."

"For your information,  _F_ , it does feel toxic" Buffy replied, up for a challenge "but it makes me want more and more" she grabbed Faith's head and went in for another kiss " _because_  it is toxic".

"Good" Faith continued to kiss Buffy "we're cool then" her hands were quick to free the other's breasts, tossing the bra to the opposite side of the room, falling to kiss her neck. It felt so soft, her lips were gentle despite the urge behind the moves.

"But just because it makes me want more doesn't mean it is good for us..." but the argument faded with that.

Buffy's hands were, too, eager to take off the only bra left on. Her lips found Faith's face again and locked themselves with the brunette's cheeks, caressing. If Buffy knew anything was that whatever happened to Faith before, where she came from, what she was before slaying vampires… was that her life wasn't easy, neither she had much comforting from loved ones -if she did, anyways,  _where_ were them? And why did she never talk about anyone from the past? - so, as insignificant as it seemed, little gestures of love meant a whole world, Buffy was sure. And she wanted to make Faith okay, show her a new way to love, she wanted Faith to be able to love her both toxically  _and_  kindly, completely.

To which Faith closed her eyes, reacting to the act in a deeper level. Oh, she hated how Buffy could find a clear path to her core, the one she hid with all her might. Yet, she only hated because it meant she would fall far lower for the girl, so she smiled ironically, admitting defeat.

The rhythm slowed down. The next time they kissed -Buffy could approve it- it didn't feel that kind of toxic. They spent through a lot of one night stands to finally have one truly intimate moment. Could this be love, other than lust? A welcomed change, a first for both.

Their moves were ignited by how much they acknowledged to care about each other this time. Who were they to deny that? They couldn't, not after everything they've been through. The bickering was fun, threw some dynamic into their lives, but when shit really mattered, they were there for each other, they had each other's back.

Faith kissed Buffy's forehead, something that lasted 5 whole seconds, that meant  _so much_. "We're more than having fun, B" escaped her mouth, accepting the blonde's effort from before "we're making sense"

They kissed again, purely savoring it, aware of every gentle touch and hurried tease. Buffy leaned into Faith, pushing her weight down so she could lay on the rogue slayer, making a path of kisses from her neck to her bellybutton. Faith was so sexy. In every single way, the blonde thought. If she was the girl next door, Faith was probably the forbidden apple people wished to have. She rested her head on her belly, kissing and licking it, it wasn't about her, it was about Faith, the teasing was for her.

Up into that moment the girls selfishly got off of each other, but Buffy wanted more, she was letting her defenses down so the two could be as honest as possible and  _feel_  for each other. At the end of the day, Faith certainly wasn't going to be the one to make the first step.

On her way down, Buffy bit the brunette's panties and pushed it down with her, letting her hands take them off completely "you're so fucking hot" Faith's husky voice hit Buffy's ear and the girl smiled. Sliding down some more, the blonde kissed the rogue's vagina. Tongue's out, the girl licked and sucked -she got quite good at it after the past days- the tongue twisted and massaged the clitoris, making Faith moan loudly, let the neighbors complain. "Oh, Buffy! Oh,  _god_ " she puffed, trembling with pleasure. She could feel the thoughts start to not make sense and every thrilling sensation bombing her mind. Buffy orchestrated the show, the more her nails perforated Faith's skin in a gesture that meant 'you're mine', the more it felt good, it wasn't possession this time, it was belonging. And it felt amazing for Faith.

The sounds didn't make sense anymore, she was about to reach orgasm. Buffy laid kisses and strokes, changing every now and then. The panting came and shortly Faith too, with a big scream.

"You're fucking awesome, B" she managed to said as the girl surfaced to face her again "Amazing, hot, delicious. Everything. I fucking…" Faith stopped, aware of what she was about to say. Buffy starred at her, in anticipation, but the brunette refused to say anything else, making up with a kiss.

'Too soon, Faith' the girl pounded in her head 'too soon to say that word. And you probably don't even mean it, right? It can't be right. It's been a few weeks only, if you forget how head over heels you were  _before_  all this' she parted, looking into Buffy's green eyes: it hurt. It fucking hurt how much she loved the girl, even knowing for sure she would just break her heart. 'what's the point of saying it, if she can't say it back, Faith?  _Think_ , girl!'

Buffy was slowly coming to terms with it, though. Who could ever understand her better than the slayer next to her? Who else could understand the hurt and pride of being who they were? It was strange, but in a way that it was strange how perfectly they both fit together, how perfectly Buffy could see a future with the brunette. She knew what she was doing: she was gradually falling in love the most weird, twisted and dangerous way she could allow herself to. And she knew what she had to do now.

"I fucking love you, Faith" she mimicked the brunette, mocking what she knew the girl couldn't bring herself to say, conscious that she had to say it first, even if Faith herself was the one to feel it first.

The smile on the girl's face grew wider and careless, no threat behind it this time. Could it be? Could the golden slayer  _love_  her? Regardless everything wrong she had been numbering in her head?

"Wow, B, you better not get this attached to me. I'm a wild spirit, I don't like to be tied down" she joked, to which Buffy responded with a strong punch to the shoulder, a warning. "You're the best thing that happened to me…" the tone changed, Buffy could tell this was a rare moment, not a joke, not sarcasm, simply Faith "In my whole life" the eyes which were avoiding contact rose up "you probably saved me from myself"

Faith pushed Buffy's face closer to seal it with a kiss.

"I love you, B"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This reflect a little bit on the not-so-healthy Buffy/Spike thing too.


End file.
